Some people’s relationships always seem doomed to fail. Most people have a “type”, but this does not mean that this type of person is a good fit for you. This begs the question: are you attracting the right people?

You may find yourself frustrated that the partners you choose always seem to be on a different journey to you. Different values, different interests and different motivators can push people apart in the long term. You may just be fed up that your partners always turn out to be manipulating narcissists, jealous control freaks or [insert your preference here].

Is this just a case of bad luck?

There are things you might be doing that invite the wrong people into your life. The good news is that you can change this. With relationship coaching, start taking control of who you attract and invite into your life.

Why you might be attracting the wrong partner

Low self-awareness. What are your values in life? What do you desire most? What makes you tick? How do you like to be treated? You need to be able to answer these questions if you are to attract the right partner. When it comes to dating, knowing yourself and your boundaries lets you set the type of man or woman to pursue. Without knowing what to look for, you’ll find yourself stuck in the same cycle of mediocrity and bad matches.

Putting everyone else first. People will keep you around when they know they can get what they want from you effortlessly. If you are continually trying to please others, then they hold all influence in the relationship and will not respect your boundaries. You can end up feeling unappreciated, with your needs taking a back seat.

Low self-esteem. If you feel unworthy of a good companion, this negative energy projects itself outwardly. When you are insecure, you can end up accepting low-quality people simply because they showed interest. Worse still, you may end up attracting those that seek out insecurity in order to take advantage of it.

Attracting the right one

Become more conscious of your behaviour and beliefs as well as how they draw in the wrong people. Increase your chances at having better relationships by working with a relationship coach to help you attract better companions.

Articulate your goals in life and where a partner would fit in and discover the kind of partner that you need. You can then start attracting the right type of people.

Or return to Relationship coaching